


Some Truths...

by Deathbyhook



Category: Star Wars
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Smut, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:40:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22437307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deathbyhook/pseuds/Deathbyhook
Summary: The truth... It hurts. It heals. It gives hope.Rey finds herself warring with the man of her dreams, Ben Solo, and the tyrant Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. But something within the Force keeps them bound together. Maybe... just maybe, it’s okay to give in a little... she just hopes Leia never finds out.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 7
Kudos: 30





	Some Truths...

**Author's Note:**

> This was a prompt fulfillment for the wonderful areysololife on tumblr! I hope y’all enjoy!

_We can’t keep doing this._ She thinks aloud to him in their dream. 

_You’re probably right._ He thinks back. Whilst not being altogether productive as his nose bumps the underside of her jaw. As he breathes her in. 

Rey’s eyes close and she revels in the reverence he bestows upon her neck with his blessed lips. Her breath audibly catches.

_I wish that our dreams could be our own again- we really can’t keep doing this._ Her thoughts spew out of her as her legs widen for him. It’s almost a moot gesture because he’s massive and there’s never enough space for him.

_Mmmm, I disagree. It’s a perfect fit._ He answers her thought. It’s a prayer of a whisper. And a preamble to the growl he emits as he slips inside of her. Gently. Softly. In contradiction to the man he is outside of the dreams they share.

He’s so soft here. So different from the man who tried to shoot her from the sky. So different from the tyrant he espouses himself to be. Going from world to world, massacring villages. Truly Kylo Ren… But here, in their place, he was all Ben. Smirks, and comfort. Cradling hands. He was all soft sighs into her ear. Steady tempos of thrusting and climaxes. He was so lovely. Her Ben.

“Ah,” he chokes, hearing her thoughts; hitting a spot deep within her, “Yes- all yours, Rey.”

_Mine_ …

His thought is so unbidden and raw. So full of hope and heat. So heavy with the weight of every future they share if they would only just come together beyond these illusions. 

She curls her arms further around his shoulders. Nestles herself further into his neck, mirroring his own ministrations. Their hips quicken. They snap up and into each other. Ben’s sighs turn into overwhelmed sobs and chokes as he finds her own body begins to shake; a building orgasm about to release from her.

He can’t speak- she knows. Neither can she. So he thinks…

_Yes. Come for me. Oh, Rey. My everything… Let go. You’re safe. I’m not going anywhere._

And with this benediction, this promise, she topples over a higher cliff than she’s ever known. A cliff that she could kiss and bless and thank till she dies. And it’s soon after her own fall that she feels his hot length throb against her innermost walls and fill her to the brim.

Rey chokes out a content laugh. Joy bubbling over from somewhere in her chest. And he answers it with a kiss to her cheek; stroking her hair. 

This was only the second time they’ve done this. Coming together like this. 

It had started with yelling. The other dreams. Their dreams that eventually led to the first time they coupled. Started with moments of cold silence. Pretended indifference- especially when they couldn’t concede to truths they would rather deny. Eventually these apparitions in each others dreams, became somber. Then an ere of sympathy coated the dreamscape. They’d appear to each other during the day. During moments of loneliness. Moments of frustration. During times when they’d war within themselves, fighting battles no one else understood- except them. They always had each other.

For Rey, this was the epitome of her conflict. Was it the bond or him? Was it the connection she craved, or the connection to him specifically? Were they bonded by the Force, despite Snoke’s words? Surely this would have ended if he was gone… There’s a part of her, that Ben always tries to coax out of her, that even if the Force was pushing them together or if the connection was amplifying their tension- she’d still want him. Like she knows he wants her.

For Ben, this is the first time in his whole existence someone completely understands him. Someone who feels and sees the Galaxy as he does. They may go about it with different extremities, but he is sure; that if he were to ever have been bonded to any creature- Rey of Jakku was the only one to ever make sense. And he’s never letting that go. 

“Why do you do this?” She huffs. Her words are clipped and strained. Her emotions run too freely here. As do his. As if this dreamy state always brings out who they might have been had their lives not taken the paths thrust upon them.

“I could ask you the same,” he states flatly. His body is tense now. The passion is dissipating rapidly, and he feels her readying her escape. 

“Ben,” she growls, and then she’s trying to push him off. He’s too heavy, but he shifts a little for her. Not moving away, but propped up on an elbow to observe her.

“Rey,” he retorts. Echoing her call of his name. His voice is deep and crackly, and she feels it in her bones where he is pinned up against her.

“I’m scared,” she says. Too truthfully. She hears Ben’s breath hitch. And his fingers twitch a little. She knows he wants to pull her in. Can _feel_ his need to hold her. But he knows her. Knows that pulling her in right now will only make her run from him faster. Knows that his need isn’t hers. If only he was this way about everything…

“Is it so bad to want to be with you?” It is he who huffs now. Mirthfully. And Rey turns her face away from him. She can’t see the Solo in his eyes. Ben takes the opportunity to kiss her temple. And then he rises. Putting on his clothes. He feels her hurt. Feels the shuddering loss of him. And he simply looks at her with sad eyes.

“I’m scared too,” he confesses. Breathily. Rey swallows back the panic. She simply looks him in the eyes. The desperation to see the truth in them, far outweighs the fear of it.

“What do we do?” She’s pleading. Begging him to give her an answer to forget it all and find him. To meet him on some planet where they can leave it all behind. Let the others fight their war. Give the war away, and choose each other. It was never their war to begin with. Just inherited mantles. Legacies thrust upon them both. But that didn’t mean they don’t have a choice. And they could choose again.

“Rey…” Ben is tensing now. His own boundaries being crossed. Hers is being too vulnerable. His is giving up on everything that made him strong.

“But it doesn’t make you strong,” now she gets up. Her crude Jakku life leaves her careless to get dressed again. Ben watches her naked, open form, walk towards him, “I’ve seen you Ben Solo. I’ve seen this man. This tender and warm and kind soul. And I fight it off as much as I can. Because when we wake, when we meet in life through our bond, I can only see the mask and terror of Kylo Ren. Here- it’s _you_. The real you. I know that now. I’m sure of it. This dreamscape sheds away our farces. It makes us who we are. Truly. And you are strong. This softer, open, and gentle you. Is the man I want. He’s strong. He’ll never hurt me. I just can’t say the same for Kylo.”

Ben is worrying a lip between his teeth. His jaw wobbles from side to side. And a small sheen of tears threatens to overcome his eyes. 

“But it’s still a dream,” he breaks the spell. Rey feels the echo of a painful snap from within her chest. 

“Damn you,” she huffs out. Not to him exactly. To her heart. To herself. To the idea she foolishly let in. The idea of choosing him and expecting a happy end.

Ben’s eyes widen as he sees her retreating from him. As she turns away from him, and crumples in upon herself. Slowly dressing. And when she’s fully dressed, he hears one punctuating sob. 

“Rey,” he begs. His bare hand cupping her elbow. She pulls it away as if his hands were molten. But he still tries. He still steps closer and wraps himself around her. And this time she lets him. His own heart aches when she doesn’t return the embrace.

“I meant it,” he breathes in her ear. Ben feels her shudder, “I’ll never leave you. And I promise one day I’ll find you. I’ll come for you sweetheart. I promise…”

And with an abruptness that shakes them both, they’re ripped from the dream. 

Rey sits up suddenly, gasping for air. The repressed sobs had nearly choked her. She knows without a doubt a one Supreme Leader was doing the same. And she knows they can’t fight the tears that flow down their cheeks.

_I’ll come for you sweetheart…_

The words echo in her head as she gets bathed. As she gets dressed. As she fixes a part for the Falcon. As she eats a hydration loaf. And they bounce upwards and sideways in her head so much that she begins to see his eyes. Then his lips. The small dots on his face. The angles of his jaw and cheeks. His ears. And the hair that she could never fight to touch. Not in their dreams. 

Rey blinks and her breath catches as she looks at the parchment before her…

She had been writing a log of her progress with the parts. She always journals her exact steps, in case something goes awry. Instead of careful, meticulous notes, she finds herself staring at the soft and affectionate face of Ben Solo. A portrait so lifelike, she swears she sees it move; him smirking that classic Solo grin.

“Rey?” Leia calls.

Rey jumps, her hand flying to cover the page with Ben’s face plainly drawn out. Leia’s eyes dart to the paper under her palm, but she decides to look Rey in the eye.

“Why are you up so early, kid?” Rey hears the smile in her voice, and her hackles subside. Only slightly.

“Dream,” she offers as an explanation. Leia nods, understanding.

“I had a lot of those when I first started training. The Force likes to tempt us with things that we know aren’t good for us,” Leia is walking around Rey’s bunk, look at the notes and drawings of parts and Jedi text interpretations. Rey swallows heavily, recalling Leia’s words. _Does she know?_

She makes sure to keep the thought to herself. Clamping down her Force to hide the panic there. 

“What’s this?” A ringed finger points to the now crumpled paper under Rey’s hand.

“Oh it’s nothing, just notes-“ Rey starts but Leia pulls the parchment out from under her hand. And Rey dazedly hears the General’s breath catch in her throat. 

“Is this-?” Leia’s words choke her. A shaky hand reaches up to hold back the spasming air in her throat. 

“Yes,” Rey can’t deny her. Can’t lie, “It’s Ben.”

“How-“ Leia can’t seem to form her thoughts. And though Rey knows she can’t tell the whole truth, she concedes that his mother at least deserves a part of it.

“I dream of him. He’s good there. Softer than he is as Supreme Leader. The Force is showing me what he can be… still.”

Much to her terror, Rey witnesses the famous General Organa cry. Tears run freely. Soft sobs escape her.

“Thank you,” she finally says. She hands back the drawing, “you’ve given me something I haven’t genuinely had in a long time.”

Rey can’t speak, afraid to give away much more, but her eyes ask Leia to explain.

“You’ve given me hope.”

  
  



End file.
